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Jessica : I would like to thank the academy, they have taught me so much, about what being a true Bitch is all about
Belle : My mommy has bionic ears...
Belle : Life's a bitch.
Jessica : Life's a virgin. Bitches are easier
Belle : Speaking of virgins...
Jessica : ...you're not one?
B : Well, I wasn't gonna put it that way, but if you're going to pry...
J : Wait a minute, I knew that....
Belle : Oh, go stick your head in a....watermelon...wait...
Jessica : What time does the 10 o'clock news come on?
Belle : I think at, like, six.
Lemons : I caught some writing on the desks today...they've got a LOT of cleaning to do.
Belle : Well, I have a list of other people who can help clean 'em for you. See, someone wrote "who sits here" on my desk and they all wrote their first and last names.
Note to Reader : Lemons is Mrs. Lemons, the Pre Alg and Tech Math teacher at OHS
Belle : You were watching the Disney channel?
Bobby : Yeah
Bee : I don't even watch the Disney Channel
Bob : I do all the time
Bee : DISNEY CHANNEL IS DEVIL!!
Belle : Goodnight my Dahlink SPAM Cake
Bobby : Goodnight my Cheese Log
Belle : He goes, "Man she smelled like cheddar cheese. I got grossed out and had to go to the bathroom and puke" I didn't wanna know that. And another thing, why would she smell like cheddar cheese, or anyone else for that matter. Have you ever seen a perfume bottle that says, "Eau de Cheedaar"? No!!
Belle: you're thinkin right now...."oh if only I was a girl with a pussy...geez i wish I could have multiple orgasms if I'm lucky enough to have one at all" (doesn't always happen unfortunatly)....
Belle : Me and Bon Jovi had a moment
Kyle : It's ok
B : I'd have a moment with Jon and Richie anytime....oh yeah *rolls eyes heavenward* please oh please
Belle : I don't need sex toys...I mean, there's enough rock hard man flesh to go around....I don't want a foreign object in my pussy!! I can do just fine with big huge rock hard man flesh.
Belle : Talked to Mr. Buttface today??
Ashley : Which one?
B: Kyle...is there another one?
Ashley : Eve was an idiot but i know what the snake said to her!
A : "Hey babe how YOU doin'?"
Belle : He probably told her the fruit was chocolate
A : "Man you make wearin' nothin' look SO good"
A : "Are your legs tired cause you been runnin' through my mind all day"
Belle : Really? You swear? Swear to... Buddah...
((five seconds later))
Belle : Oh sweet Jesus
Belle : Poor Angel Spam Cake.....
Belle : My musicles are bigger than that wussy boy!! *swedish accent* You're are noooo big burly man
Bobby : I discovered it myself cause im a genious
N2R : Note that Bobby spelled G-E-N-I-U-S wrong.
Belle : I'm sure it was a mixture of insanity and genius all balled up in one little incident
Jessica : I wanna be Super Bondage Woman
Belle : I'll be Super Managment Sex Kitten...woman....wow, that's really long
Belle : A whole song, about a big penis
Bobby : I'm gonna go take a shower
Belle : Yeah you should cuz I can smell you all the way in Alabama...
Lissa : Cherries are soo nasty
Belle : I only like the sour ones but the sweet ones are nasty
L : I've had all the cherries. Sweet, sour, ugly, fat, skinny
Belle : *pokes steak* Its still alive...
Lissa : Tell 'em that
B : *talking to parents* Hey...uh...its still alive
Belle's Mom : No it's not...
B : Its still goin "mooo"!! I bet if I let it loose it'd go run around in the yard!!
Jessica : My soul is not open to the world even if I am on the Internet
Kylie : If I died Iwould be so sad...I would cry
Lissa : Me too...
Jessica : You CAN accept no as an answer?
Jessica : *breaking clock* Its like I'm toturing Tickity Tock ((blues clues)) "DOES THIS HURT" *breaks off second hand*
TT: Noooo!! I'm calling Salt and Pepper on you
J : Shut up or I'll break your minute hand off too *breaks minute hand*
Salt & Pepper : *french accent* ho ho ho!!
TT : NOOO! NOT THE HOUR HAND! SWEET JESUS NOT THE HOUR HAND
-[- Enter Blue -]-
J : Blue! You bitch! Do you realize your boyfriend is pink?
TT : NOT THE GEARS!! OH NOOOO! NOT THE GEARS!
J : Its the end of Tickity...or is it??
-[- dun dun dun -]-
Jessica : Go to hell bowl
Ron : So...you like girls...you're a lesbian
Angie : No, I like guys too
R : But you just said that you like to eat girls...
A : I like guys, because my boyfriend and I love each other, I like girls because I like to eat pussy
R : You confuse me
A : I'm bisexual, that means I only like girls on occasion...
Lissa : *picks up phone* Hello?
Belle : *on other end* That was more than five minutes.
L : Yeah, but...you're the one who was supposed to be calling back
B : I know. I just thought you'd like to know that it was more than five minutes.
Angie : It is okay, and you will believe it is okay, or you will be bitchslapped.
Belle : Because it's a random number that my mother pulled it out of her ass.
Kyle : Oh. But...why?
B : Because she has a lot of numbers up her ass.
Belle : You eat your liquids?!
Belle : What was more depressing than the time me and Kyle broke up?
Ashley : The time I lost my secret decoder pin.
Belle : I could be wrong. It's happened before. One day, back in 1973, I was wrong.
N2R : Take notice that I am sixteen and was born in 1987
Angie : Well, for a brief moment. A very brief moment. In fact, it was such a brief moment that I don't think it even qualifies as a moment.
Luke : *stops playing*
Angie : *angrily points at guitar*
L : K...keep playing?
A : *nods* *keeps pointing at guitar*
L : What the hell are you, a slave driver?
Ron : I heard you can get mono from sitting on a toilet seat. I like turkey.
Angie : You just suck at life.
Ron : I should probably take up suicide, shouldn't I?
Belle : You'd probably suck at that, too.
Steph : Why don't you capture a butterfly and let it loose in here so you have to chase it and you "accidentally" bump into him while you're chasing it!
Belle : Okay...yeah, I have a butterfly which I just happened to let loose in a crowded cafeteria...
S : No, no, no, you can say it was your pet.
Belle : Yeah...people bring their pet butterflies to school all the time...
N2R : This was a looong time ago at lunch at school. Steph isn't the girl's real name.
Lissa : Jordan, do you realize that if either of us were about to die...we'd die?
N2R : Jordan is also Belle ((Jordan is Belle's real name. Belle is the preferred name))
Ron : I'm eating mashed God!
Belle : Hey, who died and made you a single-subject notebook?
Lemons : Ya know who's the first people to know if we're getting out early?
Larry : The lunch ladies?
Lem : Yes, that's right...the cafeteria people. If they're not making lunch, we're getting out early! Do you think we should send someone down there??
Belle : I'll go as recon!!
Lem : Okay. Disguise yourself as a hungry student....
Ashley : You know the world is upside down when the best rapper is white, the best golfer is black, the Swiss won the America's Cup, the French think the US is arrogant, and the Germans don't want to go to war
Belle : Since we are girls, the supreme beings?
Ashley : You dated a guy that's bi???
Belle : He decided to be bi AFTER we dated okay...
B : He likes boys on occasion, and she likes girls on occasion...as long as they love each other I guess its okay...
A : I'd be "like did i do something wrong that led to this?"
B : He doesn't date guys he just uh...pleasures them...*shiver* gross
B : He told me that it was because he got wasted and he and a guy...uh...you know...and he liked it ((ewwwwww)) so that's what led to the uh... bi-ness
Ashley : Osama
Belle : Man....that was so mean....
A : *much laugher*
B : *cries* BOBBY!! SHE WAS MEAN TO ME! SHE CALLED ME OSAMA!!
A : Bobby: "Well call her Saddam" ((N2R : Ash was imitating Bobby))
B : Saddam
A : Hitler
Belle : Clammydia
Ashley : Gonoria
B : Ghonorrea
B : Haha!! I spelled it right that makes it my insult
Belle : Fine guy you meet and then 3 months later find out he's had a sex change
Ashley : Fine guy that you marry and have 7 kids with that takes you on the Jerry Springer Show to tell you that he's in love with your grandfather and they are going to get married
-[-Talking about a guy that thinks he knows a lot about computers -]-
Ashley : "You need to connect your hardrive with the floppy and then check your C Drive and your D Drive and then push the gas."
Belle : *hysterical laughing*
A : Its the truth and you know it
B : I know but its the funniest truth I ever heard
Belle : Maybe cats walk around like their shit doesn't stink because their shit is enriched with elightenment
Ron's Mom : Ron, Salty ((thier dog)) killed a mouse, come and clean it up.
Ron : Okay
*later*
Angie : Weren't you supposed to clean up a dead mouse?
R : Yeah.
A : Did you?
R : No, I'll do it later.
A : Dude, that's not something you do later, that's one of those, clean it up right away things.
R : Pfft, no it's not.
A : Yes it is, there's a select list of things you clean up right away.
R : A mouse is not one of them.
A : Yes it is.
R : Fine I'll go clean it up now.
*waiting, Ron picks phone back up*
R : OH GOD! IT'S THE MOST DISGUSTING THING I'VE EVER SEEN! OH MY GOD!
A : I told you it was a clean up right away thing.
R : OH MY FUCKING GOD! EW! I AM GETTING THE BROOM! OH GOD!
A : *sigh*
R : IT SMELLS! *takes it outside and drops it somehwere* OH SHIT! i can't put it there, my mom told me not to. oh god, it's so gross. I can't get it without crushing it's intestines. be right back.
*Ron comes back*
A : I told you.
R : shut up, I forgot what a dead mouse was like.
Belle : NO!!! nooooOOOO!!! what have you done? YOU'VE DEFLOWERED MY BUTTER!!!
Angie : Hey look! MAYBE I'M NOT THE ONE WHO BEATS MY BUTTER FOR NO APPARENT REASON!
A : Whoa wait that sentence came off as really dirty didn't it?
Belle : Yes, yes it did.
B : I don't beat my butter.
B : I don't have that kind of butter.
Belle : It was Mr. T, wasn't it? He's trying to cover up his condiment prostitution ring by framing my butter, isn't he?
Angie : HOLY SHIT! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! IM SOOO SORRY! LOOK I'LL GIVE YOU MY FIRST BORN SON! I'LL DO ANYTHING PLEASE JUST DON'T DO BAD SOPHMORE THINGS TO ME!
-[- Answers phone -]-
Belle : Porn Star Cardboard Cut outs, where do you want the hole?
Jessica : Grab a life! Save a butt!!
-[- Playing with purple leaf car freshener -]-
Belle : If you rub your hands on it you smell like car.... The new scent by Calvin Klein, purple leaf.
Away Message : I'm off to go play with my toy boats and pretend they get hit by an iceberg except they can't get out because it's in space and if they leave their eyes will get sucked out....So in short I'll be back...
Belle : You almost spit up your *own* soda.
Ron : As opposed to someone elses soda?
-[- on the subject of Someone finding her moms dildo -]-
Someone : She was like "at least it wasn't a strap on!!!"
Someone Else : Now that's optimism
Angie : that's the coolest thing EVER!
Belle : I know it's shaved and everything.
Ron : Do you speak of vagina?
Ron : *really long mumbling sentence* go to New York and get raped.
Belle : I'm like, "Dude, she just wants your control rod in her assembly."
Ron : I passed my test!
Belle : Well you're a man now Ronnie mah boy...just grow some pubes.
Belle : -[- drinks soda and pours a bit on ground -]-
Ron : What the hell was that? One for your homies?
Belle : I'm like, so Loreal right now...he makes me feel worth it
Belle : Ashley said that I was a Psycho. Yes, I am. I CHEEEEWED THROUGH THE LEATHER STRAPS!
Belle : I'm gonna cut off Kyle's balls and send 'em to his mom...I think she'd like that...
Lissa : What did he do this time?
B : Well...I...uh...I dunno but it's his fault
L : Are you sure that balls are the way to go? I mean...and his mom...
Both : -[- laughing hysterically -]-
L : What made that funny?
-[- While Watching Not Another Teen Movie. Areola is walking from the principal's office with Janie. -]-
Daniel : Omigod I would so fuck her...I would fuck her right in the ear!!
-[- Watching Girl's Locker Room Scene -]-
Belle : For future reference, stuff like that doesn't really happen...all the time that is
Kyle : NOO! You're ruining the dream!!
Len : Yeah! We have to imagine this sick shit
B : Whatever
K : Like she says, "this can never happen again"
B : But that's what I mean...It happens again, and again, and again *counts on fingers*
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